Itching for the weekend? Celebrate that phrase with Stinks’ Itching Powder ($1.49) and throw a dash of the goods in your roommate’s chonies. Or better yet: Make the gang suffer just before hitting the club by adding a special ingredient to their designer duds.

Ashton Kutcher has “Punk’d,” and while that provided some entertainment, it’s gotten a bit old. Instead, here’s a list of five celebrities we’d like to prank – from the Jonas brothers meeting their predecessors in the ring to A-Roid getting a dose of “reality,” let the pranks begin

1. The Jonas Brothers
What I’d do: Prank call from an MTV network executive pitching the latest band of brothers in a real-life Celebrity Deathmatch face-off with Hanson, the 1990s version of the Jonas Brothers. Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson have signed on for this WWE-inspired Brotherly Love match-up. Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas would compete against the elder brothers in a series of moves: best guitar solo, highest high note and most metrosexual outfit.

2. Miley Cyrus
What I’d do: Send a server to her residence to deliver a document notifying the teen starlet that her request to legally change her name to Hannah Montana has been received and accepted pending her appearance at the courthouse with a 1,000-word essay on why this name change will not confuse the masses more than they already are about the differences between her and her Disney Channel character.

3. Britney Spears
What I’d do: Hire a Kevin Federline impersonator who calls Brit Brit begging for her to take him back. His reasoning would include that his last album flopped, he can’t get laid and is running out of money. Basically explaining why he married her in the first place. And if that doesn’t work, use the kids as barter.

4. Paris Hilton
Show up at the hotel heiress’ door as the president of the Razzie Awards with her three Golden Raspberry Awards that she collected for worst actress in “The Hottie and the Nottie,” worst supporting actress for “Repo! The Genetic Opera” and the prize for worst screen couple for “Hottie.” Have a photographer present as well and ask the “actress” to pose for the camera with her awards and say a few words of acceptance.

5. Alex Rodriguez
What I’d do: Send a letter, certified mail of course, from Major League Baseball.
Dear Mr. Rodriguez,

After careful and much consideration, Major League Baseball executives have decided to publicly announce our intention to refrain from investigating into your alleged steroid use, circa 2003, and announce a new policy: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Effective April 1, 2009, MLB will no longer be testing its players – for anything, including the use of performance-enhancing drugs such as steroids.

It is the new belief of the league that players should continue to improve their overall performance by any means necessary, including anabolic steroids.

With that said, the league would like to contact your cousin about being commissioned, off the record, by the MLB as a provider of substances including testosterone and Primobolan. Also, do you still have Jose Canseco’s contact information? He isn’t returning our calls.

Truthfully,

Bud Selig
Commissioner,
Major League Baseball

Hey there pranksters! I’ve gotten a ton of requests for a prank-a-day, so I’m going to be starting that in April.  But in the meantime, here’s my thoughts on getting ready for our big day this year…

April Fool’s Day is like Christmas for pranksters. While some go all-out with festive holiday decorations and plan their decor well in advance, pranksters share that same enthusiasm for stink bombs, fake poo and all things stinky. While Christmas and April Fool’s Day have little in common, there is one thing that they do share: Planning is vital to a successful day.

Most of the great April Fool’s Day pranks require advance planning. Sometimes pranksters have to test their patience – long enough to wait the typical shipping time for StinksNThings.com’s products to arrive at your door – to pull off a successful “Gotcha!”

Some of the best April Fool’s pranks are really all about the basics. Every year as Prank Day rolls around, I tend to take a look back and reflect on some of my best work.

In my early days as a rookie prankster in the ’90s — when everyone had pagers instead of cell phones, I remember stumbling upon a toll-free 800 number for “large voluptuous women.” It was porn for the chubby set. And it was the funniest, free humor that I’d ever heard. So what’s a prankster to do? Page everyone with the number. Twenty-five friends, all getting an earful; it was great. And the best part was watching a classmate figure it out and the look on her face.

Some of the best pranks can be just about outsmarting the average guy. Like bringing in Oreo cookies to the office and instead of all the yummy cream filling, replace it with toothpaste and watch the comedy unfold on countless victims oblivious to 4/1/09. Or just switch the signs to the men’s and women’s restrooms at your office and watch and wait nearby. Or better yet, hide numerous alarm clocks all over your target’s room – set for all hours of the night, no less, and really have your way with them.

Other great pranks in history have gone big: Like the time in 1992 when National Public Radio’s “Talk of the Nation” program announced to listeners that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for president again with the campaign slogan of “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” NPR brought on a Nixon impersonator who did such a great job that the station was flooded with calls from shocked and outraged listeners.

If you don’t have grand plans for the Big Day, don’t fret. The basics are always a great way to celebrate April Fool’s, and StinksnThings has got you covered there. Start the day off with a stink: Stinks’ Party Pooper ($2.49) is a great way to shock the morning pooper in your household. Plop this fake poo on top of the toilet seat, or, kick it up a notch with Instant Poop in a Can ($4.49) for a custom defecation and stink up the joint with Liquid Ass ($5.99) and create a stench that makes the faux doodie even smell realistic.

Once you’re on your merry way, go play with strangers with Stinks’ Bill Snatcher ($1.49). Talk about a cheap and easy April Fool’s prank! Put your money to work and watch as greedy strangers lunge for bucks and get caught in the act when the retractable funds retreat into your grubby little paws.

Next, treat your buddies to lunch – and to the honor of driving your luxury ride. Toss them the keys to your shiny BMW, and watch them jump from the shock of setting off your faux car alarm remote with Stinks’ Shocking Car Door Opener ($7.99). The trick is twice and nice: not only will they literally be shocked, but there’s no way in hell you’re letting their spotty driving record get behind your wheel.

So really, whether your plans are simple or sadistic, the sooner you start planning, the more likely you are to have a raucous April Fool’s.