Mark the second Fart Friday of the month with Stinks’ Fart Powder ($2.49). Add an extra ingredient to your coffee addict’s java with this fart powder that will have them rootin’ and tootin’ – and even burping — all day!  It’s a great office prank to play on the co-worker across the office.

Bring some humor to Passover dinner with Stinks’ Extending Fork ($4.99). Have a family member who always fails to clean their plate? Help them out with this handy piece of cutlery that extends to more than 2 feet long. It’s a hilarious food prank that will keep you and your family laughing for hours afterward.  It’s a classic gag that keeps ‘em laughing.

It’s Hump Day and you’ve got a weekly brainstorming meeting that feels like time stands still. Get out of it by spiking your boss’ water bottle with Stinks’ Belch Powder ($2.49). The powder has no taste to it and your boss just won’t be able to stop burping long enough to berate your team. Meeting adjourned!

This one requires a bit of advance planning: Passover starts on April 8, and what better way to have your favorite Jewish friend find all sorts of grief than by breaking the fast? Give your heeb a candy handout at the end of the day with Stinks’ Blue Mouth Candy ($1.49).  It tastes great but will leave their mouth blue for about 24 hours! The next morning, their mouth will still be blue and so will they, when their family gives them a hard time for breaking the fast. Prank candy never made you laugh so much!

Mondays are never fun – unless everyone comes in to work to find a brand spankin’ new Poop Pen ($2.49) sitting on their desk first thing! Those contracts and time sheets will sign themselves and you’ll have a smile on your face at day’s end! It’s one of the best office pranks you can play.

Nobody wants to work weekends, so make your boss the butt of the joke on Monday by replacing everyone’s desk calendars with Stinks’ 2009 Crack Desk Calendar ($4.99). Everyone will be sure to crack a smile with a little of Eric Decetis’ anal-retentive humor. Office humor at it’s best!

Start your Month of Pranks off with an ongoing joke: Stinks’ Corporate Bullshit 2009 Desk Calendar ($4.99). Based on the book “The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit,” learn new terms to say nothing and add using a term from this jargon-filled calendar to your daily prank routine. Every day will be an April Fool’s Day!

Hey there pranksters! I’ve gotten a ton of requests for a prank-a-day, so I’m going to be starting that in April.  But in the meantime, here’s my thoughts on getting ready for our big day this year…

April Fool’s Day is like Christmas for pranksters. While some go all-out with festive holiday decorations and plan their decor well in advance, pranksters share that same enthusiasm for stink bombs, fake poo and all things stinky. While Christmas and April Fool’s Day have little in common, there is one thing that they do share: Planning is vital to a successful day.

Most of the great April Fool’s Day pranks require advance planning. Sometimes pranksters have to test their patience – long enough to wait the typical shipping time for StinksNThings.com’s products to arrive at your door – to pull off a successful “Gotcha!”

Some of the best April Fool’s pranks are really all about the basics. Every year as Prank Day rolls around, I tend to take a look back and reflect on some of my best work.

In my early days as a rookie prankster in the ’90s — when everyone had pagers instead of cell phones, I remember stumbling upon a toll-free 800 number for “large voluptuous women.” It was porn for the chubby set. And it was the funniest, free humor that I’d ever heard. So what’s a prankster to do? Page everyone with the number. Twenty-five friends, all getting an earful; it was great. And the best part was watching a classmate figure it out and the look on her face.

Some of the best pranks can be just about outsmarting the average guy. Like bringing in Oreo cookies to the office and instead of all the yummy cream filling, replace it with toothpaste and watch the comedy unfold on countless victims oblivious to 4/1/09. Or just switch the signs to the men’s and women’s restrooms at your office and watch and wait nearby. Or better yet, hide numerous alarm clocks all over your target’s room – set for all hours of the night, no less, and really have your way with them.

Other great pranks in history have gone big: Like the time in 1992 when National Public Radio’s “Talk of the Nation” program announced to listeners that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for president again with the campaign slogan of “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” NPR brought on a Nixon impersonator who did such a great job that the station was flooded with calls from shocked and outraged listeners.

If you don’t have grand plans for the Big Day, don’t fret. The basics are always a great way to celebrate April Fool’s, and StinksnThings has got you covered there. Start the day off with a stink: Stinks’ Party Pooper ($2.49) is a great way to shock the morning pooper in your household. Plop this fake poo on top of the toilet seat, or, kick it up a notch with Instant Poop in a Can ($4.49) for a custom defecation and stink up the joint with Liquid Ass ($5.99) and create a stench that makes the faux doodie even smell realistic.

Once you’re on your merry way, go play with strangers with Stinks’ Bill Snatcher ($1.49). Talk about a cheap and easy April Fool’s prank! Put your money to work and watch as greedy strangers lunge for bucks and get caught in the act when the retractable funds retreat into your grubby little paws.

Next, treat your buddies to lunch – and to the honor of driving your luxury ride. Toss them the keys to your shiny BMW, and watch them jump from the shock of setting off your faux car alarm remote with Stinks’ Shocking Car Door Opener ($7.99). The trick is twice and nice: not only will they literally be shocked, but there’s no way in hell you’re letting their spotty driving record get behind your wheel.

So really, whether your plans are simple or sadistic, the sooner you start planning, the more likely you are to have a raucous April Fool’s.

Let’s talk about gas. No, not the price of gas – though in this instance the price can be quite costly – we’re talking farts here, people. Silent But Deadly, Rippers and the Terd Burglars who are frequent offenders.

An old friend once gave me a copy of “Everyone Poops,” by Taro Gomi. It’s a great book for young kids and anyone who finds that sort of crap humorous (pun intended). While the ol’ Number Two happens to everyone, there’s a fine art involved with letting gas slide on the sly and doing the doo in public. So sit back and enjoy as StinksNThings.com takes a crap, er, crack at the do’s and don’ts of taking care everyone’s of business in a place of business.

It all starts with the fart, remember that kids. And when you feel nature’s call about to rear its ugly (turtle) head, think of yourself as a Crop Duster and go for a brisk walk around the office and share the wealth (or misfortune) of all that dairy you had for breakfast. One key tip in making the fart rounds – make sure you don’t bring your stink trail back to your cubicle, or you might as well may have sprayed Liquid Ass at your desk.

Once you’ve released your gaseous fumes but know that there’s a certain Act Number Two to follow, it’s time to start plotting your course of action. There’s the old Fly By – scouting your nearest bathroom for occupants – or go on the hunt for Safe Havens, those rarely used bathrooms further from your desk and less likely to get you the nickname Super Pooper.

Now that you’ve found a stall and you’re ready to release the hounds, it’s time to go on tactical alert: Once you’ve taken a seat, anything can happen. Be prepared for the Jail Break – the machine-gun ripping farts whose surprise attack even surprised you. But worse than the Jail Break – by far more embarrassing as well – is the Watermelon. That’s right, the Watermelon: a poo that is so enormous that it creates a splash loud enough to win eight Olympic gold medals. While the Watermelon can empty some water from the bowl, it pales in comparison to the Havana Omelette – yep, diarrhea that creates not one, not two, but a full series of loud splashes. The farts that often go along with the doo are just the tip of the iceberg. It’s the smell that will curl your eyelashes. The stench is so bad that it’s like having a seventh grade flashback to when you first learned of the potency of stink bombs when you mistakenly broke one in your pocket. The stench seems to follow you for hours. But don’t worry, Stinks’, and our years of public pooping, can help.

While everyone will have these unfortunate events happen at the most inopportune times, there is hope in saving your oh-so-valuable reputation: the Courtesy Flush. When the turtle’s head severs, hit the flusher. Don’t wait, just do it. You’ll save yourself – and the Uncle Ted bathroom lingerer – from being tormented by the sad scent of last night’s bar tab. And if that solution isn’t subtle enough, try the Camo-Cough, your smoker’s cough that covers the splash – but not the stench – of your burrito.

So just remember that while there are limited ways to concealing nature’s less-than-great miracles, the only true safe way to do the doo is to do it at home.

It all starts with Selection Sunday – March 15, 2009. Then, two days later, March Madness kicks off with its opening-round game. Bored yet? But for what seems like the better part of the population, college basketball’s annual championship tournament takes over idle office chatter at the water cooler and sucks all the fun out of weekend TV viewing. Unless, of course, you’re a fan, then all bets are off.

Whether you’re a hoops fan or just have the misfortune of sharing space with ’em this March, get ready to inject some humor into the seriousness of the NCAA’s tournament, courtesy of StinksNThings.com, your online destination for gag gifts, practical jokes and lots of stinky stuff like Liquid ass and Stink Bombs!

Get your game on – and save a few bucks on beverages when you overpay for your ticket into the games – with Stinks’ Booze Belly Flask ($12.99). Consisting of a pouch that allows fans to comfortably – and secretly and securely – bring booze into games undetected. Designed with an elastic waistband that fits all adults, the pouch holds 750ml (about 25 ounces) and comes with a straw valve to stop the flow and avoid embarrassing spills. Imagine never having to leave your seat when the clock winds down during a close game and keep your cash for the next round – or to compete in another bracket pool!

For fans enjoying the countless games in front of the tube at home, consider Stinks’ Cowboy Boot Mug ($3.99) for the hoopster who has everything but wants to root Texas in a very stylish fashion. Big enough to hold a 12-ounce brew, this novelty mug has great curves. Made of plastic, there’s no danger of this mug getting the boot when the game takes a surprising last-second turn.

For those who want to shoot hoops in any way they can, Stinks’ Cheering Basketball Hoop ($12.99) is easily affixed to the top of any wastebasket. Sinking that three-pointer never felt so good as you’ll hear the roar of the crowd thanks to the included vibration string.

And there’s no better way to tell roommates, girlfriends and spouses that you’re entrenched in the game – and maybe a little inebriated – than with Stinks’ Beer Mug Hat ($6.99). Coming in at a whopping 18 inches the soft plus head topper really will be the foam on top of a great game.

So be it a Booze Belly Flask for bringing the hard stuff in to watch your team take on the competition of the NCAA Championship or a chicks-will-dig-it Beer Mug Hat, Stinks has everything you need to enjoy the tournament. And just think, even if your top-ranked team is the shocker of the tourney and gets knocked out by some no-name school, you can still hear the roar of the crowd with Stinks’ Cheering Basketball Hoop and drown your sorrows with the Cowboy Boot Mug . All bets are off when it comes to March Madness, but one thing is certain: Stinks won’t be the team that breaks your heart.

Stink it up!
~steven